Stop this train.

So. Sometimes being a grown-up is fun.

It's fun when you get to run around London and Paris by yourself. I learned that this summer. Being the baby of my family by a large age gap has left me without several basic survival skills, and largely dependent on others. This summer, however, when I was able to go to London, I was pleased to be able to master things and find my own way around.

The height of this grown-upness came during the travel week-end. Two friends and I decided to travel to Paris for the four day trip.

I found and booked our hostel in Monmartre. Found our way around. Mastered the metro. Spoke as much French as possible, and was really brave about speaking to strangers and asking for help and directions in French. I led my friends around Paris. They called me Tourguide Heidi. I'm bragging a little. But only because it was so new and unlike me and so much fun.

But being a grown-up kind of stinks sometimes when you have to make decisions. Decisions are not my friend. In fact, Decisions and I are enemies. But here I am. Making hard decisions. Being a grown-up. Satisfying. Also, painful. Also, confusing.

Can't I just rewind to the time I was still playing Barbies?

Oh wait...I played with Barbies until I was like 14.

Not to mention this little incident...

Which may or may not have been the summer before last...you don't know! (That's John Smith, Pilgrim Lady and Padme Amidala...yikes.)

Anyways. Even being 14 would be simpler than now. But then I guess I'd be stressing over things like no boys dancing with me or liking me ever at lame Connecticut stake dances. I guess that was pretty hard for me then.

I guess what I'm learning here is this is why we grow up. We are given challenges that we are able to handle as we go along. I wouldn't have been able to handle what I'm going through now at 14, which is why I'm going through it NOW and not THEN. I guess it's all designed to work itself out.

Though I do love those times when I can get together with some friends and watch Swan Princess and Anastasia and remember the time when all I wanted to do was be a princess...