Delicious.

"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen  next.  Delicious ambiguity..."

-Gilda Radner

Happy picture of the day!

thoughts while skipping class....

Ok, ok I'm not really skipping class.  We're just watching a movie that I've recently seen, and don't need to spend two hours on again, when I could be...sitting in the HFAC...by myself...blogging?  Whatever.Here are some thoughts:

I am mad at myself for constantly losing everything.  It's embarrassing and frustrating, and I'm tired of it.  I once again, lost my phone last night because it fell out of my coat pocket and it now sitting in the back seat of a car, who's owner I will not see until about 7:30 tonight.  I guess I just need to become more self aware.  Anyways, it's becoming more and more embarrassing every time I lose the NEXT essential item in my life.  It makes me feel like a little kid.

My knee really hurts.  It's my own fault.  Which is also embarrassing.  While rehearsing a scene from The Crucible for my acting class, there is a part of the scene where Abigail gets thrown to the ground.  Well, this moment came, and I guess my drama-queen tendencies emerged and I went down really hard right on my knee.  Which, as a result of said drama, really, really, really hurts.  (ok, so maybe my drama queen tendencies emerge a little more often than I would like to admit, but it does hurt)

I don't like my hair today.

I fell asleep yesterday during an "emotional recall" exercise

 in my acting class yesterday.  We all we supposed to lay down on mats and remember an emotional experience in detail and try to re-live it.  However, laying down on my back, on a soft mat, in a dark room, at the end of the day, with my teacher talking softly to us was just a little bit too much for me, and I fell asleep.  I opened my eyes to find most of the class sitting up, and the exercise over.  Everyone was talking about their experience and how amazing it had been, and how they had felt connected and remembered things about it that they had forgotten....annnd I just kept my mouth shut, and tried not to look too groggy.

and here are some happy pictures:

St. Valenti(m)nes Day!

I love Valentines day.  It is one of my absolute favorite holidays.  I also love to hate Valentines day.  But this year, I had decided not to be my usual bitter self...

...and make a list of some of my absolute favorite love songs!  These are some songs that make my heart hurt, my knees weak and generally just make me happy.  I love knowing that love like this is out there.

(These are in no particular order, because, let's be honest, I'm pretty indecisive.  My favorites change all the time)

The Tender List

• Come Away With Me-Norah Jones
  
• Something in the Way She Moves-James Taylor
• Making Memories of Us-Keith Urban
• When You Come Back Down-Nickel Creek
• Everything-Michael Buble (My Brother and his wife's wedding song)
• Out of my League-Stephen Speaks
• Passenger Seat-Stephen Speaks
• Lucky-Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait
• Until You-Dave Barnes
• On A Night Like This-Dave Barnes
• More Than A Man-Dave Barnes
• Answer-Sarah Mclachlan
• Ice Cream-Sarah Mclachlan
• Perfect-Jon Mclaughlin
• Home to Me-Josh Kelly
• Love to Me-The Light in the Piazza
• Magic-Colbie Callait (My sister and her husband's wedding song)
• Die Alone-Ingrid Michaelson
• She's got a Way-Billy Joel

Sad List

• Indiana-Jon Mclaughlin
• So Close-Jon Mclaughlin
• Pieces-Rascal Flatts
• You'll Think of Me-Keith Urban
• And So It Goes-Billy Joel
• City-Sara Bareilles
• If You're Not the One-Daniel Bedingfield
• Amelia's Missing-Jon Mclaughlin

Fun List

• Uptown Girl-Billy Joel
• Accidentally in Love-Counting Crows
• Pink Flamingo kind of Love-Rebecca Lynn Howard
• I Wanna Have your Babies-Natasha Bedingfield
• How Sweet it is to be Loved by you-James Taylor
• That's When I love you-Phil Vassar
• I'm Gonna Be-The Proclaimers
• I Should be Sleeping-Emerson Drive

She's Crazy and kind of horrible, but I love her anyway list

• She's always a Woman-Billy Joel
• Praying to the Wrong God-Jon Mclaughlin
• Just the Girl-The Click FIve
• All for Leyna-Billy Joel

There are so so so many more that it's ridiculous, but these are the ones that came to mind.  Happy Valentines day!

Love.

I am surrounded by it.  I am the luckiest girl.

Friendship

"C'est le temps que tu a perdu pour ta rose qui fait ta rose si importance."

This is a really beautiful quote from a beautiful little story, Le Petit Prince.  Basically, what it means to me is that the time that you lose on your rose is what makes the rose important.  I think this is the same for friends.  The time you spend with your friends, and the hours you lose in their service and their company is what makes them important to you.  I think this is really beautiful statement, and it makes me look at friendship a little differently.  The Little Prince works and cares for his rose, it becomes the center of his life and his reason for living.  He protects the rose and makes sure it grows to be something beautiful.  The same can and should be said about friendship.  Before I came to BYU I had had best friends, but they always had other best friends.  I didn't think that I could have said consistently that I was thought of as a best friend by those I considered to me mine.  I can't say that the would think of me first when they wanted to do something, or get together.  This led to a lot of self-pity and insecurity, which I think I am starting to grow out of, having found some of the best friends I could ever wish for, in the past few months.  I am so grateful for these friends, and I hope that I can continue to care for and cultivate the relationships in my life and make them into beautiful things.

"The essential is invisible for the eyes"

I just really love this story, there are so many beautiful messages to be found in it.  

Happiness is...

Happiness is walking across campus to the beat of a Jackson 5 song, in a cute outfit, drinking a Jamba Juice on a sunny day that smells like spring...

nevermind the fact that I have two more classes left today and a Book of Mormon test that I have yet to really study for, my cute boots are falling apart, the Jamba juice is a Coldbuster because I think I'm getting sick, and Puxtawney Phil saw his shadow...nevermind all that.

Happiness!

Regina's Life Lesson

This is how is works

You're young until you're not

You love until you don't

You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry 

You cry until you laugh

And everyone must breathe 

Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works

You peer inside yourself

You take the things you like

And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made

And stick into some

Someone else's heart

Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm

You hope it don't get harmed

But even if it does

You'll just do it all again

(On the Radio, Regina Spektor)