Thoughts

"Faith My Eyes" Caedmon's Call

I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face

With a touch of my father, just up around the eyes

And the sound of my sister's laugh

More wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

 

And if I must go, things, I trust, will be better off without me

And I don't want to know

Because life is better off a mystery

So keep them coming, these lines on the road

And keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load

And keep me guessing, these blessings in disguise

I'll walk with grace, my feet, and faith, my eyes.

I can't really put into words what I'm feeling right now, but this song seems to cover a couple of things.  I'm not really sure.  My life is sure mysterious right now, and sometimes I would just like to hire a life detective to figure it all out for me.  Unfortunately, not only does that career not exist, but that's just lazy and irresponsible of me.  First and very important step for me is to go to watch General Conference this weekend.  I think I'm more excited this year than I've ever been for Conference.  Hearing what the Lord's prophet and apostles have to say will be refreshing and helpful in the extreme.  In church they always tell you to go with specific questions, we'll I've got mine, and I'm ready to do some detective work!

also...

also I'm pregnant...  

APRIL FOOLS!

April Fools.

I think this snow is the biggest April Fool's joke of all time.  I am DONE with the snow.  Where is the sun?  It seems like years since it's been here.

HAPPY APRIL!  Happy weather is coming, I can just feel it!  

Happy Birthday Maruca!

I love this girl.  Alot.

Compilation of Happy thoughts

This could be ricankulously long, my apologies, here goes...

-Vending Machine Danishes (blueberry).  Seriously.  How are those so delicious?  It's insane.

-Laying out on the grass with Mariah on Saturday and feeling the sun on my face.  I've discovered this year that sunshine can cure many of the things that I feel are wrong with me at any given time.  It also gives me hope of having my freckles back in their summer time glory, which I absolutely love.  Feeling that hot sun on my face (not to mention being able to talk and be crazy with a best friend) can officially make me feel better.  Call me easily pacified.

-My hair is getting longer!  Excitement!

-Music that is so beautiful to you that you have a physical and visceral reaction to it.  Lately this is applicable to Aaron Copland's "Appalachian Spring" and "Rodeo".  These pieces of music make me want to dress up in a cowboy outfit and ride a horse wildly across the plains (which I have never done before, or anything close to that, for that matter), or be the eighth bride for the eighth brother, and dance away, respectively. 

Leonard Bernstein also just kills me.  I could listen to the West Side Story, Candide, On the Water Front and so many others forever.  Also Thomas Newman's "Whisper of a Thrill" from the Meet Joe Black soundtrack is so beautiful to me that it gives me chills every time I hear it.  There is an eloquence to that piece of music that just flattens me.  

-Uncontrollable laughing fits (preferably at inappropriate times.)  On Saturday night, Viv and I went to a BYU Men's and Women's Chorus concert.  A funny song towards the end, mixed with our ridiculous ESP and collective random sense of humor set us off, and we laughed until the end of the concert.  We didn't just laugh, tears were pouring down our cheeks, we shook our seats; the people behind us must have had homicidal thoughts.  This continued for a while after the concert was over, leading many to think that we had gone insane.  We preferred to think that Bajio's must have put drugs in their soda. (side note: We were also wearing flower crowns at the time, adding to our appearance of insanity.)  Laughing that hard for that long left us lightheaded, with sore faces and ribs.  Another one of these laughing fits happened in Sunday School today with my friend Michal.  We couldn't stop.  It was inappropriate.  And also wonderful.

-Lately I've been feeling like a little girl and like a grown up at the same time.  I have the best of both worlds at this time in my life.  It will probably be the only time I will ever be able to feel like this again.  Wheeee!!!

-Being at church and knowing that I am in the right place at the right time (for once).

-Cellos.  Again with the music.  I've been hearing a lot of cellos lately.  In Memoirs of  Geisha (delightful) and in the BYU chorus concert.  Cello music epitomizes and puts into musical form the emotion of yearning and longing.  They really are the most beautiful instrument.  They evoke emotion like no other instrument.

-Learning patience.  I usually get what I want when I want it.  Getting over that spoiled nature is something that I am striving for.  Being content with the process instead of the result is something that I have trouble with, and am trying to get better at.  Living in the moment and striving for results instead of wishing to fast forward.

-Having a future filled with delicious possibilities and potential, and being nothing but excited about it.  Something lately has just filled me with this excitement and hope about my future, even though I don't really know what's coming.  There is such a thrill in thinking about what lies ahead, and not being scared of the ambiguity and the unknown.  I think part of this excitement comes from being more secure with myself than I've ever been in my life.  And I think that comes from being more secure in the gospel than I've ever been in my life.  

LIFE IS EXCITING!

Sunshine

Lately the weather has been so much better, and consequently, so have I!

Aunt Heidi!

I am copying both my sister-in-law and my sister, and formally announcing my impending aunthood on my blog.  THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL BABY COMING!  Murphy and Jylare are going to be parents! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!